in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
