My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
