thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
