what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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