i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
