oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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