im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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