whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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