I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I love having hate sex.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize