Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
