i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
