Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
