she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
