We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
