He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
