I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
