dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
