and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
