I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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