haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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