"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
