does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
