I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just invented taco cereal.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
