Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
