it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
