he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
