is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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