Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
No stitches, just platelets and will power
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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