Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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