i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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