I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
