Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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