My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
