This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
