If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
