She's JV to your varsity
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You're like the curious george of whores
your like the ambassador to my penis.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
