How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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