Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
NoShamevember. You game?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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