I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
