Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
as a side note pls kill me
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
