There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
