what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
