Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
