But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
