none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Do you still have your period?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
