a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
