oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
