bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
