don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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