The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
