She even gives head with a lisp.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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